Taciturn

What could make one feel worse than a job interview?

You have to show yourself off, but if you show yourself off too much you get kicked down. My problem is my inability to shamelessly push my own case. The job asked for someone with Mac experience, so I made a point of my skills with GNU/Linux and Windows, and my lack of skill with Macs. I suppose I could have brought up the line that the new Macs are really just Unix anyway. Well, as Unix as GNU.

There would be a change of mindset — instead of being a student you'd have to gain their respect. Nod and smile. Ignore the fact that most of the staff there would have immediately stepped down into the inferior persona if they were at the mercy of my technical magic. No, I just nodded, as if to say Yes, people will have to. I did try to fight it. I mentioned that I'd got on well with my senior physics teacher, but it was instantly rebutted with the same story as before. I don't see it as a challenge, and I certainly don't blame the interviewer for being concerned about it, but that was a point I couldn't win on.

Why do you want the position. Oh... I had so many responses to this. Problem was that I'd planned to have several similar questions aimed at me, and consistently falling back on the same prefabs wasn't going to look flashy... so I took the first question and gave a few of my prefabs. They were true, of course. I'd never speak myself up in a job interview. I'd feel downgraded when I walked out the door and compared the real me. And of course there's the threat of saying you can do something, then getting the job and not having a clue, getting your arse kicked. That's not something I should worry about, because once you've got the job - that's it. They'll take care of the things you can't. Simple.

What are your strong points? What a stumper, I can't believe I didn't think of this one from my last interview. Communication. Good work Ted, you were really damn precise there. About as precise as a sledge hammer through a plasterboard wall, 3 metres from where the picture hook was meant to be.

What about yourself would you like to improve. Well, communication was still floating around my head... so why not hit that one again... and just to demonstrate how good I am at explaining things, I said nothing more. Bravo! A short mumble to try to get myself out of the retard pit I'd stepped into... but the quicksand will have no escapees.

Then I got to ask questions. Umm... How many applicants were there? 40. 15 Interviewed. OK, so I managed to get in the top 37.5%, but it's a hell of a lot easier to get into that category than to get into the top 2.5%. Even if I did make the 3-man shortlist, there's no way they'd let some dropout kid manage some important facet of their enterprise. Two years ago they were telling me where to go and what to do, that they hadn't received assignments from me, and that I should sleep at home instead of in class.

Well, I guess I'll just have to submit another 39 job applications. And maybe next time I should rock up in the corporate outfit, because only business-looking people are worth hiring. Kids in casuals don't take job applications seriously.

And finally, some self reflection from when I got home for me to use next time I get fancy ideas about working in an air-conditioned office with people who know their arse from an RJ-45 socket.

Bad things

• Defensive posture - arms crossed.
• Didn't use the interviewer's name.
• Didn't state all the reasons I liked the job.
• Didn't go into enough detail in some responses.
• Put too much emphasis on my lack of Mac skills.
• Referred to a member of staff as "Mr" instead of "Mike" when discussing the change in mindset for me and others if I returned to SPLC.

Good things

• Probably smiled.

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Update: On 2 Nov I was asked to attend second-round interviews with two members of the SPLC staff. There were two or three other applicants at this stage of the process. On the 4th I attended that interview and was satisfied with my performance, but equally aware of the high-risk stakes. In my own words, I wouldn't bet on it. After a weekend of anxiously wondering what the outcome would be, I received a phone call just after 8 AM on Monday 8 Nov informing me that they would like to award me with the position. I accepted.